Day Five > Shed




Before we talk about your list of teachers today I want to talk about you because that's what your life is really all about. It's about you. Your soul living in a body, managing a mind that's trying to remember that the motive behind everything  is love. 

When love is strong, your experience is joyful. When love is weak, your experience is fearful. It doesn't mean that love is not there, it's always there. It only means that your mind is not completely focused or in tune with all the love you have. And where there is love there is peace. 

Joyful translates to so many wonderful feelings: bliss, gratitude, security, compassion, inspiration, hope, grace, happiness, and so on. 

Fearful translates to so many not-so-wonderful feelings: anger, insecurity, doubt, hopelessness, rage, sadness, guilt, regret, and so on. 

Humans categorize these feelings according to good and bad, light and dark, but doing so casts a debilitating shadow on the gift of the not-so-wonderful category of feelings. Just think: how many times have you swallowed your anger because you believed it was inappropriate to feel it? 

In the world of spirit there is only love. You are that love. You with your bliss and you with your anger. You with your grace and you with your insecurity. You with your compassion and you with your regret. It is all you. You living this life on the foundation of love. 

I'm not going to lie to you: feelings are complicated, but their message is clear. You are given the experience of feeling what it's like to be fueled by love. When you are riddled with anger or saddled with guilt you are, quite simply, not aligned with the flow of love running through you. Nothing more, nothing less.  

If you take a minute to think about this, does it ring true? 

Your emotions are a compass. Very often, they are the compass that helps you feel where you are or are not aligned with love BEFORE any misalignment occurs within your physical body. When you ignore your emotions or do your very best to pack them down, eventually they surface through your body. That's because everything is energy and energy never stops moving. It must go somewhere. So you can take your tiny bubble of anger and swallow it, but it will eventually inflame a part of your body. 

It took me roughly ten years to understand that my ulcers were not the result of working with assholes, but the result of doing work that didn't bring me joy for the right reasons. The assholes were my teachers. Showing up again and again, in different bodies, with different names, demanding things of me that left me feeling empty, tapped out, squeezed dry. But I had so many stories in my head about what success was and how my talents should be shared that it was easier to blame the assholes for being assholes when really they were all trying to help me see where my true happiness was and what success really meant for me. Guess what happened when I finally let go and stopped resisting the change that was asking to flow through? My ulcer went away and the assholes disappeared all of which created space for really beautiful people to enter my life. I finally came into right relationship with my purpose. 

Had I listened to my emotions from the start, had I released them and voiced them and explored them things would been so much easier, so much faster. But I am grateful for the lessons that arrived. Now out of deep love for myself I am much less willing to compromise my health and happiness for any sort of notion about what I should or should not be doing in this lifetime. I'm much more in touch with my feelings and how those feelings are leading me to or away from love. 

None of this was easy, which is nothing more than a testament to my incredibly stubborn nature, but that's a story for another day. The magic here is in the recognition, acceptance and surrender to resistance of the flow that is flowing your way at all times. 

You find this flow in two places: your playground and your classroom. 

Go and grab your two lists. 

Remember what I said at the beginning of this? 

I want to talk about you because that’s what your life is really all about. It’s about you. Your soul living in a body, managing a mind that’s trying to remember that the motive behind everything is love.

I don't know how to tell you this, but that just doesn't go for you and you alone. That goes for everyone, including the people on your classroom list. It's super-crucial that you remember that. When you acknowledge that everyone is either running toward love or running away from it you can begin to see that each and every one of us is trying to do the best we can with what we have in our hearts. 

Your playground is a place of joy and peace. Honor every entry on that list. Make space and room for those people, places and things on your calendar. If you feel like there aren't enough items on your list, ask the Universe for more. Just say, "Please expand my playground." And then watch what happens. Something will always happen. 

As for your classroom list. Ahem.  

Your teachers are teaching you how to shed what's not working, what's keeping you away from the love the you are. They are teaching you how to build and expand and grow in this lifetime. They are teaching you how to come into right relationship with love. 

Depending upon who or what your teacher is, there is a depth to the lesson. It has taken me years to understand some of my teachers. Sometimes I have repeated a course over and over and over again. I'm sure I'm repeating something right now, in fact I know I am, because this year has been a big year for me with respect to setting boundaries. And by that I mean so many of my boundaries have been trampled. So I am learning, the hard way, how to shore up my edges and create safe space for myself in this world. This has required me to use my voice in ways the I have, up until now, not been comfortable doing. But you know what? I feel stronger as a result. If feel more confident. I feel safer. When the dust settles after a "lesson"  I try to separate my own personal feelings and just examine what's there asking to be seen. 

Please select an item from your classroom list. If you're dealing with a person, for best results place your feelings for this person aside. 

Ask yourself: 

  • How does this item make you feel? Be honest.
  • Does that feeling bring you closer to love or further away?
  • What would you need to do in order to feel closer to love with respect to this teacher? 
  • Is there an attribute or value that you are being asked to embrace? For instance, is the teacher trying to teach you patience? 
  • What is required of you to embrace that attribute?
  • Is your teacher embracing love or fear?
  • How do you know that's true? (Hint, you don't. You can't. So please stop thinking that you know why other people are doing what they're doing. You can't possibly know.)  
  • Are you embracing love or fear in dealing with them? 
  • How do you know that's true? 
  • In the name of self-love what do you need to shed in order to feel peace with/toward this teacher?  

Often what you'll find is that the only thing you need to shed is your attachment to the teacher and your resistance to recognizing the lesson for what it is: a lesson, an arrow, a faster route back to love. 

If you need help teasing out a teacher, I am happy to hold the space for you to do that. Email me.

If all of this makes you queasy, relax. Tomorrow is a new day and I promise you the lessons from here on out will be fun and joyful (this is just street cleaning). 

For today, repeat after me: It's just a classroom. I can choose to visit the playground at any time.