Waiting for the next available teller

Photo by  Andy Chilton  on  Unsplash

Photo by Andy Chilton on Unsplash

This morning as I sat on my mediation mat and worked out my last twitches to settle in for the long haul, I heard a voice say, "Please wait for the next available teller." 

When I looked up I saw what I thought was a crow flying straight for the sliding door that I was sitting behind, but when it came into focus I realized it was a red-tailed hawk. She flew straight to the door, swooped to the side, grazing the glass, and landed on the branch of a pine tree about ten feet away. 


She stayed only a matter of seconds and then flew to another tree directly in front of me. Again, her back to me. The morning sun lit the edges of her wings, creating a halo around her. 

Last night, as I was dozing off to sleep, I asked for to be shown a different perspective, but I forgot about that request by morning, until Hawk arrived. 

Hawk was a generous companion this morning. Gifting me with perspective, vision, clarity and intelligence. I am incredibly grateful for the ways that Nature responds to my inquiries and invitations. 

Eight years ago this might have been a story about a hawk almost flying into a sliding door right before my eyes. Today it's a story about a deeper conversation with the Universe.

When I invite people to join me on the Field Trip, the very first lesson is centered around two facts: 

  1. Everything is energy
  2. Energy is information

So every bit of energy within you, around you, coming at you, moving away from you, is just information for you to absorb or for you to ignore. Every last drop of it is the next available teller, sent by the Universe, inviting you into a currency where the vibe is high.

When you live in the present moment it's usually fairly easy to understand the signs and symbols that stop you in your tracks. At least, it's easy to notice them. You hold the free will to decide if you want to dive deeper and contemplate their meaning or if you just want to brush them aside.

Here are two easy ways that you can ease yourself into a conversation with the Universe: 

  • Record one sign a day. Just one. What stopped you in your tracks? What tugged at your heart? What brought you joy? Keep a running log. At the end of each week, look back and see if there's a bigger story unfolding in what you are seeing/noticing.
  • Set aside time to journal. Before you begin, take a few centering breaths and ask the Universe why that particular sign appeared or what it was delivering to you and then free write your answer. No edits, no breaks. You might be surprised to read what flowed through.

I'm not sure what sort of conversation you'll find yourself in, but I am sure of this: it's always, always, always about love—finding love, offering love, be-ing love, right here, right now. 

Go see. Report back. <3 

Want to jumpstart the conversation? Join me Sunday, April 15th at Moonshine where you can journey to meet your spirit animal in the cozy comfort of my studio in NEPA. You never know what your teller needs to tell you. Learn more.

Saying hello to Creativity

There was a point in the Spring when I decided to stop creating things (as if that would help me). As if placing my hands over the flow of creativity was the way to feel better or simply happier.

I quickly felt even more depleted. Not to sound too dramatic, but certainly: dead inside. 

It took me about a month to remember this was my choice, my desire, to not go with the flow. And I decided at that moment (and, I'll admit, again for the millionth-exhausting-time) to change course. Instead of saying NO, I would simply say YES. I would do whatever Creativity asked me to do: write, photograph, cook, create, construct, play, explore.

No questions asked. No explanations needed. 

I would just DO. 

This devotion to Her required a little unplugging and pulling back. It also required a lot of trust. It is a holy choice to team up with Her. To not worry about what everything looks like on the outside and instead just focus on how it feels on the inside. 

I was having lunch with my son, talking about a place where Creativity led me (baking artisan bread, no less) and he said, "Your brand is all over the place. How can people understand what you do?" 

And without thinking I replied, "Everything I do is nourishing on some level. For me. For us. For others." And that's as good a definition of Creativity that I can muster up. Creativity is nourishing at the soul level. 

Whenever I have a conversation about Creativity there is always someone who adamantly claims to not know Her at all. They usually throw their hands up in the air as they say, "I'm not creative in the least." Often, they appear either proud or embarrassed. 

It's silly to deny Creativity. 

She lives in the both sides of the brain. So whether you identify as right brain or left brain, She's there. Sometimes she works with Logic. Sometimes she works with Art. Sometimes she works with Both. 

She's not one to hide, although (for some) She is difficult to recognize. I think that's because society labels Her as Artsy, but (like all labels) that's wrong. Creativity is just as present in the single mother who figures out how to feed a family as She is in the artist who paints Angel Fish. She guides the CEO to build a profitable company as much as She guides the photographer to capture the perfect shot. 

How? She is Life Force, by another name. That's all. 

Our language has and continues to limit and separate us in ways we don't even realize. I wonder what would happen, could happen, if everyone just accepted their relationship with Creativity was what it is: purely individual, purely sacred, purely Divine. 

Where would that lead you? What would you do? 

Fresh starts, daily

I made a few resolutions on December 31, 2015 but only one stuck—

Resolution five: start the day reading Rumi and then meditate. Every day.

I've lived many years where my only resolution was to not have one. Years where I sat right next to Change and politely whispered, "Shush."

Years where she and I hopped forward, ankles tied together, feet in a potato sack, inching our way to an imaginary finish line that disappeared just two, short hops away.

Years where I traded her for her sister Complacency and we cuddled in front of a screen and numbed our senses in the soft dim of pixel light (not to be confused with pixie dust).

Then there were years where Change snuck in on her own, hurricane-style, as she so often does after being silenced, dragged, traded or ignored. Hard to blame her, even she can only take so much.

But this Rumi resolution? This is Change at her most loving. This is Change inching through me day by day, page by page, word by word, cell by cell. There isn't a day the Genius of Love doesn't make me stop, think, smile and/or gasp for air. 

The real (re)solution here? Choosing to start every day grounded in love, thinking about love, absorbing love, meditating on the incomprehensible stream of love within me, within you. And then, and only then, entering into The Day. 

Give us the inner listening
that is a way in itself
and the oldest thirst there is.

Do not measure it out with a cup.
I am a fish. You are the moon.

You cannot touch me, but your light
fills the ocean where I live.
— Rumi, excerpt from The Oldest Thirst There Is

Sometimes I wonder what my days would have been like if I started them this way when I was a young(er) mother. Or, better yet, even before that when I was single and working in the advertising industry. I doubt I would have found the time to squeeze Rumi in between five cigarettes, two cups of coffee and a shower, but if I had? Who knows, really. We land where we land when we're ready, and not a second sooner. 

And so I'm here. Gentle contemplation. Inner listening. Quiet quenching. 

Day by day by day by day by day. 

How about you? Did you do that resolution thing this year? And if so, did it stick?

It's never to early to make a fresh start. Today is always a good day to begin again.

If you'd like to tap into your own inner listening, join me for Moonshine, a live event happening at my studio, August 29th, 7-9PM. Space is very limited. You can learn more and sign up here.